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EVEN MORE "INSTRUCTIONS..."
from Do This Now

Maybe the more correct explanation is that kids are more willing to act foolish? So stop being so self-conscious already!

Try to relax your jaw and then hold your teeth loosely together. Now hum. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm! Can you feel your teeth buzz? If you can then try to change the pitch of your humming. At some point you should encounter the natural frequency of your jaw and then the volume will increase noticably inside your head.

First, if you can see the tailights of several cars ahead of you try watching the turn signals and notice that for a few moments the flashers will be perfectly in sync for several cycles, then gradually they will start to go out of sync until they will then flash opposite each other in perfect sync for several cycles. If the traffic in the turn lane is really long and the light takes a really long time to change, you will see this pattern repeat itself several times over.

Next, look at only the car in front of you and first blink your eyes at a pace that will create the illusion that the signal is on all the time. Now blink your eyes so that the signal appears to be out all the time.

2) Take some good ole plastic wrap, like you use to cover the turkey after Thanksgiving, and an old flourescent bulb - the long thin kind. Carefully (without breaking the bulb) go into a dark room & rub the plastic wrap quickly back and forth on the bulb. It will make it glow. So will static electricity. We could probably light the world if we just carried around flourescent bulbs & the world was carpeted.

3) Close one eye and point your index fingers at each other around a foot or two away from your face. Then move them towards each other. They'll probably miss because we depend on both eyes for proper depth perception.

4) Look straight foward and keep your eyes focused foward. Then take your finger and hold it horizontal a couple of feet from your face. Then *slowly* raise it while looking straight ahead. It will disappear. Might work better if you keep one eye closed. There's a blind spot on the eye where your optical nerve connects to it.

5) While lying in bed, lie on your side. Then close one eye. Then the other (open the first one). You'll see very different versions of nearby things. Similarly, put your index finger about an inch from the bridge of your nose and look at it... Your eyes won't be able to put the picture together to form a 3d image becuase they're looking at such drastically different parts of your finger.

Hold your mouth open as if it froze while you were exclaiming the expression "OH!" Now just strike the top of your head in time with your chosen song while you alter the resonance of the chamber you created by holding you mouth open and contracting or relaxing the muscles in your throat and reshaping your tongue to the notes of your favorite song. "Singing" the song in your mind helps to get the proper pitch for the notes.

Try something simple for your first tune. I imagine that the William Tell Overture would be it little overwhelming and painful for your first performance. Besides you don't want to give yourself a concussion.

Who knows maybe you can get a job in the rhythm section of a Latin band.

How would you like to have eyes like SpongeBob's Squidward? Find a faucet in your house or a relative or friend's house. The style that works best has a short vertical section just above the aerator and it should be chrome-plated. Buff it up with your sleeve for maximum reflection. Now stand in front of it and slowly move your head up and down while you watch your reflection change shape.

As far as I'm concerned this is better than a fun house mirror.

Moving your head up and down will cause various parts of your face to elongate or shrink in a vertical direction, thus the Squidward appearance to your eyes. Or if you prefer you can make teeth that rival Bugs Bunny's or create a really long forehead for that brainy look. Move sideways and your face will be skewed to the left of the right.

2. Get one of those Bic pens with the smooth white plastic tube and take the guts out so that you only have the tube part. On a slick table surface (like formica) lay the tube in front of you with the ends pointing left & right. using the index and middle fingers of both hands, press down on the tube extremely hard (without crushing it) and roll them back so that the tube snaps forward violently with a lot of backspin. It will fly forward and up in an eerily smooth motion. very cool, but don't over do it or your fingers will suffer.

I should mentions that while the subject was guessing the first couple objects, the experimenter or someone near him has been casually smoking a cigarette. Back to putting something on the subjects neck: the experimenter pulls out a cylinder of ice about the size of a cigarette, he dries off the end so it is not wet, and touches it to the back of the subject's neck. I haven't tried this, but supposedly the subject's first reaction is to scream because he thinks that he has just been burned by the cigarette! Thus illustrating that heat and cold sensations are sometimes difficult to tell apart without other clues.

Fill the bowl 75% and cover with plastic wrap. Use the rubberband(s) around the mouth of the bowl to hold the plastic wrap in place. Be sure to make the plastic wrap as LOOSE as possible - the goal: place your hand in the water THROUGH the pastic wrap, without piercing it.

Cold feels the same as wet, if done correctly, you should really be checking the plastic after each "immersion" of your hand, just because it feels like you've broken the seal and gotten your hand all wet.

A similar effect occurs when you listen to a monaural music source with stereo headphones. Only this time the "wall" is inside your head and if you focus on the "wall" you can actually feel the sound "crashing" into itself as it proceeds into your aural canals. If your stereo equipment allows you to easily switch from stereo to mono, listen as you switch rapidly back and fourth. The music will alternately sound as if is outside your head vs. being inside your head.

Just thought of one more effect while I'm on the subject of playing with your ears. I'm sure that every child in the world from the age of four up has thought of this one.

Place the palms of your hands on your ears with your fingers pointing behind you. Now fan your ears rapidly while you hum a steady tone. Nice Wah-Wah effect! I remember that it sounded cool if I did it while my parents were talking. "I'm not listening to you!" (wah-wah-wah-wah-wah) Wha'dya say Ma?

If you are from the same generation as I am you probably noticed that it sounds very close to the effect that was used on the keyboard break of the Who's "We Won't be Fooled Again". Try humming that break from memory while you fan your ears. Get a friend to fan their ears and listen while you hum! Does it work as well that way? Switch off. What fun!

First, try to work up a good tearful yawn (I bet you're starting to yawn now just because I suggested it! I am!)

Next position your head so that your face is as nearly parallel to the the desk or table that you are working at as possible. Look at your keyboard. Try to keep your eyes open as your eyes start to tear so that your eylids don't wipe the tears away.

Now make spastic movements with your head in order to get all the liquid to collect in the middle of your cornea. keep looking at your keyboard. Voila! Instant contact lens!

Just so you know it may take several days of practice in order to accomplish this.

If you are nearsighted like I am the tiny little letters on your keyboard will be in perfect focus but distorted (can't have everything you know!)

Hey! I just had an idea. The next time life throws you a curve ball that leaves you in tears, try this. You'll get so distracted by what you're doing, it may just lift you out of your funk.

Now do this! I am willing to bet that Gene Roddenbury or one of his writing staff was inspired to write wormholes into the Star Trek script as a result of engaging in this wierd behavior.

Get a short length of rigid copper tubing either 1/2" of 3/4" in diameter. Make sure it is straight otherwise this either will work poorly or not at all. Peer into one end of it like a hand held telescope and aim the other end toward the sky. Not the sun however! I was dorky enough to look at the sun for a very long time when I was in 7th grade. It wasn't until I was a freshman in college that the recurring green spot in front of my eyes finally dissapated completely. Duh!

Anyway what you will see will closely resemble every image of a wormhole I have ever seen on Startrek. Try experimenting with different lengths of tubing to see if the effect changes.

The first involves the "Unwritten Rule" of elevators. Notice this the next time you get in an elevator. If one person (you) is alone in the levator, they will most often stand at the back center. Two people will take the back corners. The third and fourth people will take the front corners. After four, the crowd begins to gravitate toward the center, but not too closely. Now, here's the trick - they all face forward and often follow this rule. Get onto the elevator, press the button for the highest floor available. No matter how many people are in the elvator, stand as close as you can to the center with your back to the doors. For some reason, breaking the "rules" frightens most people and they will become very nervous about you and anxious to get off on their floor.

Then you take the fist in your hand and with the other you take the wrist. While holding the wrist use your thumb to press on the wrist so you lock of the vains and keep al the blood from entering or leaving the fist.

With your other hand you can now rub the remaining blood out of the fist.

Now let your friend open his/her hand and it will look pretty pale (no more blood inthere at all), now release the vains to let the blood into the hand again, this wil feel very weird, you can actualy feel the blood flowing through your hand.

When you find yourself in a slightly reflective room ( ie a room which has lots of wood of hard surfaces and not one with lots of soft furnishings, sometimes a tiled toilet is good, clench your teeth gently and hum, starting with a high pitch and gently bending the note so that it gets lower not in volume but in pitch.

Well if you stand a little way away from them and stare then poke out your tongue and blow a raspberry, quite magically the led numbers will appear to dance the dance of life and light. It truly is a beautiful sight and possibly one the eight wonders of modern science.

You need to practice swallowing air to start with. This is hard to describe, you just have to try different techniques while you're in front of the TV or doing the dishes. What you do is blow out your cheeks and force the air in this reservoir backwards down your food tube (not your air tube). Once you've mastered this, practice burping up the stored air on cue. You should be able to produce good long belches. I can say the alphabet on a lucky day or aided by some gassy beer.

For the smoke, simply take a big drag from a cigar (preferably) into your mouth reservoir and force it backwards into your stomach, as before. Discard the cigar. You can hold the smoke there for a bit before letting rip with a long, loud and magically smoky belch. An amazing party trick.

Simply stare out the window at the falling snow, letting your eyes focus on infinity. Soon, you will get the distinct sensation that you are rising up through the snowflakes rather than the snowflakes coming down.

-Get a fish tank and dry ice. Put the dry ice into the empty tank, and as it melts it turns into carbon dioxide. You can also use baking soda + vinegar to get the carbon dioxide. You can test the level of CO2 by putting a lit match into the tank; when it goes out, that's where the CO2 starts.

Now, blow bubbles into the tank! The bubbles sink until they reach the CO2, where they float as if they're on an invisible layer of water!

-this likely has been said; it's pretty common. Have an empty soda can, fill the very bottom with a bit of water. Set it on the burner to boil and fill the can with steam. In the meantime, get a bowl filled with water, and put some ice cubes in to make it cold. Then, with salad tongs, take the can and turn it upside-down into the cold water. the whole thing crushes from the weight of the atmosphere!

On a really cold day (-20 degrees F), heat a cup of water to near boiling, take it outside and toss it hard into the air (the water, not the cup). Creates an impressive cloud of steam and a loud hissing sound - hardly any water hits the snow - pretty cool. I've wanted to try it with a 5-gallon pail of water, but I don't know if I could throw the water hard enough (or safely enough).

Get a thin (1/4" to 1/8") piece of wood about 16" long and 2" wide. Take it outside. Hold it by the middle of the long edges. While holding the wood, orient your hand so your thumb is below your finger. Now throw the wood forward and slightly down while giving it backspin with your finger as you let go.

The wood should fly a few feet forward and then rise up into the air. With practice you can get it to do a sort of boomerang thing where you throw it forward and it goes up and then backwards over your head and then you can catch it behind you.

1. Look for a coin (usually a small denomination works well). See how long it is before you find one.

Then convince yourself that people drop coins all the time, and that there's loads of them everywhere. See how long it takes to find a coin now.

Then convince yourself that by looking for coins, you're making the coin appear magically. See how long it takes to find another coin.

Add more of these experiments, until you can decide which is the best way to find coins.

2. the number 23 is a magic number, because all numbers are related to it in some way (e.g. 5 is 2+3, 4763 gives you (6-4 = 2) and therefore with the three, that's 23, 6 is 2x3, 4 is 2 squared, and 2/2 is 1, so there's another 23, and so on). Look for 23s everywhere, and try to figure out why that number is so special.

1) If you have a glasspipe, try letting the gas from a lighter into it for a while. Now spark it. Fire will travel elegantly through the pipe for an amazing visual display. Once you get good, you can make all sorts of pyrotechnic effects. One technique I do that impresses even people who already know the glasspipe trick. I let a fair amount of gas into the pipe. Just enough to fill it, not so much that it pours out and definately not enough to smell it. Then I spark it in such a way that a fire stays steady at the opening and doesn't travel through the pipe. (its intuitive for me, I don't know exactly how.) Now blow gently into a different opening. So if the fire is in the mouthpiece, blow in the carb or bowl. It makes a flamethrower. Its nice to pull on experienced people because of the psychology: They see some lame inferior thing and are dissapointed ("that's it?") Then a spectacular thing they've never seen before! The contrast makes it even cooler.

2) Hook up a video recorder so whatever you point the camera at ends up on the tv/monitor in real time. Now point the camera at the tv. Its best if theres just one second screen, slightly smaller than the first real one. Play around. The feedback can get really wild. Wave your hands in front of it and see what happens. It seems every camera does something different. Try it with multiple cameras if you have acess to them. If you can figure out how to do more than one simultaneously that could be really neat. Don't forget to record when it gets good.

3) A little shortened version of an essay by Dali: Automatic writing is the most direct of Surrealist technique. Sit at a table with pen and paper put yourself in a receptive frame of mind and start writing, Continue writing without thinking about what is appearing beneath your pen, Write as fast as you can. If, for some reason,the flow stops; leave a space and immediately begin again by writing down the first letter of the next sentence. Choose this letter at random before you begin, for instance a 't'and always begin this new sentence with a 't'.

4)This one is my own discovery: Interesting mental states can be evoked with strobelights.I have a bright strobe which, according to the guy who gave it to me, is the kind strippers use. While experimenting with it, I found that if I put it in just the right places and set it to the right frequencies around my eyes, I could have intense visual and perceptual hallucinations. I would put it on my forehead or rest it near my nose and the strobe would start to distort my perceptions. Colored blobs organize to form scenes that were strangely familiar. The wierd thing is that I would feel as if I actually there in some very surreal locations with real things happening. I would feel as if I could sense the wind in a grass field. A wierd halo of stale inaudable sound hung over the scenes. I felt as if I could hear what was happening, but I don't recall actually hearing anything. There are some extremely bizarre things that I've experienced with the light, but a word of caution. When you find a sweetspot (good angle), don't go too far into it or the visions will come too fast and you may convulse. That is not so pleasant once the novelty wears off.

Most folks walk around in what is called "tunnel vision", their attention focused on the center of their visual field. Try this instead: notice that you (while looking straight ahead) can see all the way to the right and left, up down. See how much of this visual field you can pay attention to all at once, like a big panorama. This is called wide-angle vision.

Now, do this wide-angle vision at night. Hold on to your hats! You should see what appear to be "auras", among other weird movements. The more you practice, the more interesting your nights (and days) get.

Try driving in "wide-angle vision".

Try shooting hoops...you might find your skill increases substantially.

If you get a song stuck in your head, go into wide-angle vision, and it will disappear.

The possibilities are endless....

1.take 2 pens (not pencils) push them verry hard aggainst each other for 30 to 45 seconds then SLOWLY pull them apart u will nottice how the feel stuck

Equipment needed:
2 shot glasses
Access to a small sink with running water and plug
Unsuspecting patron/customer/rube
Bar towel (just in case the above mentioned decides to try this trick)
A dime
A butter knife

Hold your nose shut with your hand and blow, keeping your mouth tightly closed. This is the same action used to "pop" or equalize your ears when riding in an airplane. Careful not to blow too hard! Blow steadily, from the diaphragm, increasing pressure until mysteriously, a stream of tiny silvery bubbles will start streaming from the inner corners of your eyes. Wierd!

You can practice this before you go in the water of course, holding your nose and increasing the pressure until you feel air start to hiss out of your eyes.

What's happening: Your ears and eyes are connected to your mouth and throat by tubes which help remove excess fluid.

One set of these tubes helps carry away tears when you weep. (this is why you get a salty taste in your mouth when you cry hard)

Go down to your local pool and hop into a hot sauna (try to avoid steam rooms, it doesn't work as well for some odd reason.) Then you stay in there for a good hour or so (it took me two years of practice to build my heat endurance enough to do this.) Then when your all warm and hallucinating, jump into the shower set it on the coldest temperature you can get.

When your body gets too hot, hemoglobin's ability to bind oxygen is decreased. Your body accomadates for this by increasing blood flow in order to keep up with the oxygen demand. When you jump into the cold shower, your body (and blood) cools off faster t han your brain can regulate the blood flow. So for awhile your body is pumping way too much oxygen rich blood to your head, producing an oxygen high.

Find a dirty ashtray. Seperate out a small pile of fine ashes with your index finger. While you are seperating and crushing the ashes, make sure the tip your index finger gets well coated with them.

After you have a small pile of ash finely ground up and powdered and the tip of your finger is well coated with fine ash, have your victim hold out both of his hands with the palms facing down. Take both your hands and with the index fingers on his palms, grasp his hands with your index finger under his hand in the center of his palm and your thumb on top. You will now gently shake his hands and tell him to get them really really loose and relax. Keep emphasizing how loose they need to be while you are holding them. At the same time you are doing this, you are using the tip of your index finger to make a small spot of the ash you picked up while grinding and making the pile of ash powder under his hand on his palm. If you have ground the ash fine enough, he will not feel you pressing with your index finger and applying the spot of ash.

Tell him that when you let go of his hands, he is to make them into super tight fists and not open it up until you tell him to. Keep shaking them gently telling him you need him to get looser and looser. Also tell him that he must make super super tight fists when you let go. This is important because it distracts your victims thinking. People love magic and most everyone will want to cooperate with you. It also distracts them from the fact that the end of your finger is dirty with ash. This is the only point where the trick can go wrong. Some people don't like dirt and if they see the end of your dirty finger they will pull away. Try to extend your ash finger underneath the persons palm once their hands are out.

When you let go of his hands, he will make them into fists. Remember, you have planted a spot of ash inside one of his hands with your index finger while doing the shaking.

Now, tell him to cross his fists one over the other.

After he does this, take your finger and pick up a small amount of ash from the pile in the ashtray. Take your finger and make a small spot on top of his hand, the same hand you planted the ash in. Now, he should have a spot inside his fist and one on top of the same fist.

Now have him cross and uncross his fists several times, you can have him do all of the gyrations you want, do the YMCA dance, whatever. The longer you go on the more misdirected he will be and he will forget that you ever touched the inside of his palm in the first place.

After you have had him do a few gyrations with his fists, have him cross them one last time and brush the ash from the top of his fist/back of his hand.

Now have him uncross them. Ask him where the ash is. He will say on the floor or something like that. Have him turn his palms up and slowly open his hands.

When he sees the spot of ash inside his hand, he will be amazed. He will have completely forgotten that you ever touched his hand at all when you were getting him loose!

2. This one is not for the queesy. Don't come crying to me if you throw up or pass out. Also, extended head shaking may cause damage (I was once stuck with a headache for a few weeks after too much shaking), so don't over-do it. Anyway, get a strobe light and start it going at a moderate pace. Now, shake your head back and forth real fast for a few seconds then stop. Things are supers freaky, especially LED clocks. You'll blink, but the image will stay with you. Don't be surprised if you just wanna slump over immediately.

Yay for narcotic-less fun!